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Samsung Electric Range/Oven - $400 (Fernandina Beach)
condition:
good
make / manufacturer:
Samsung
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(AKA: If Gordon Ramsay met a slot machine.)
Listen. I’m not here to lie to you. Samsung (and the 3 random third-party techs who’ve now seen more of my kitchen than my in-laws) SWEAR this thing is “working as designed.”
And maybe it is!
If the design was: “Let’s make every meal an adventure.”
🍪 The Oven:
Do you love gambling?
Do you enjoy chaos baking?
Do you like the thrill of not knowing whether your cinnamon rolls will be:
Black-as-midnight on top but somehow raw like cookie dough underneath
OR
Actually cooked (this has occurred approx. 1 time out of 72 attempts)
Preheat to 350? Ding! Sounds good, right? WRONG.
It might actually be at 297°… or 487°… who knows? It's like the Powerball numbers.
Yesterday was the last straw. Thanksgiving casseroles → preheated to 375 → NOTHING. COOKED. I bumped it to 400, and the oven proudly heated itself to a whopping 313°, according to the thermometer. Bless its heart. It tries.
🔥 The Stovetop:
Honestly?
…Not the worst part.
If you just want to:
boil water
make boxed mac ‘n cheese
keep a candle warm
You’re good.
BUT the heat zones are… creative. Some parts of the pan are hotter than Florida asphalt, other parts are chilly like the inside of a Publix freezer. But hey — at least it does something.
💡 WHO IS THIS RANGE FOR?
This range is PERFECT for:
🧑🍳 Landlords who don’t care
🍜 College kids who only cook ramen
🔥 People who air fry everything anyway
🥴 Anyone who hates predictability
🤷♂️ Someone who says “eh, close enough” a lot
If you want an honest review: I think something inside is warped, but apparently Samsung thinks “warped” is a personality trait not a defect.
💸 PRICE:
It’s less than a year old.
It looks great.
It’s just… emotionally unstable.
$400 and it’s yours. You pick it up. No take-backs.
First come, first served.
Please — rescue me from this appliance. My sanity depends on it.